# Larry Hagner

You're Winning at Work and Losing at Home — The Guy Who's Been Saying It Longer Than Anyone

Canonical: https://mornings.network/shows/center-stage/guests/larry-hagner

## Biography

Larry Hagner is the founder of Dad Edge, a platform dedicated to helping fathers break generational cycles and build stronger family relationships. After experiencing abandonment by his biological father at nine months old and enduring years of instability with multiple father figures who were emotionally and physically abusive, Larry found himself repeating destructive patterns as a young father. A pivotal moment occurred when he lost his temper with his four-year-old son, causing the child to put his hands up in fear - a moment that became the catalyst for his complete transformation as a father and husband.

For over 11 years, Larry has devoted himself to studying and teaching effective fatherhood and marriage principles. What began as a personal Facebook page to document his own learning journey grew into a community of 120,000 engaged fathers seeking to improve their family relationships. His approach combines vulnerability about his own mistakes with practical strategies for emotional regulation, communication, and intentional parenting.

Married to his college sweetheart for 23 years, Larry is the father of four boys aged 10, 12, 18, and 20. He left his high-pressure sales career to focus full-time on his mission of helping fathers succeed at home. Through speaking engagements, his podcast, and online content, Larry addresses what he calls 'sad clown syndrome' - the phenomenon of successful men who are winning everywhere except in their most important relationships. His work emphasizes that anger is a secondary emotion, the importance of learning parenting skills intentionally, and the power of turning personal tragedies into tools for growth and healing.

## Links

- linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/larry-hagner-a82b8715/
- youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheDadEdge
- website: https://thedadedge.com

## Transcript

Nobody at the Monday meeting asks the
real question. How's your marriage
actually going? You're closing deals,
getting promoted, building something,
and the person across the dinner table
stopped reaching for you. There's a name
for it, sad clown syndrome, winning
everywhere except the place that
actually matters. Larry has spent 11
years on that problem. Larry's
biological father left before he could
walk, 9 months old, gone. At 12, the man
came back, said I've started over, then
vanished again. Straight F's followed.
At 30, he walked into a Starbucks in St.
Louis. His biological father was sitting
there. A long, hard reconciliation
followed. One night, Larry lost his
temper at home. His 3-year-old son put
his hands up to protect himself. He
didn't see his son. That's where the
cycle almost won. He built the Dad Edge,
then left his high-pressure job for
good, because your kids don't wait for
you to figure it out. If you've ever
felt guilt as a dad, this is the
conversation for you. Larry, welcome to
the big show. We're happy to have this
chat with you today.
Hey, Johnny, get this, man. You're 30
years old. You walk into a Starbucks in
St. Louis, and sitting there is the man
who abandoned you at 9 months old. The
same man who told the 12-year-old boy,
"I've started over." What do you do? Do
you say, "Fuck you?" Do you walk out?
What do you do? What do you say? Because
most people either punch or leave. The
guy coming up right now did something
much harder. Nation,
meet Larry Hagner.
What's up, Larry?
What is going on, That is about the
sickest commercial I think I've ever
seen. Holy cow.
Hey, Grant, Sophia got paid this week,
so Sophia's in some new gear. It's uh
making her
>> Sophia looks like she just got [ __ ]
brought off a god damn Amish farm. We
need to put her in some [ __ ] better
gear. Jesus Christ.
Who the [ __ ] is dressing her?
Larry, where are you joining us from?
Are you in St. Louis, Larry? Yes, sir.
Yes, sir. What's up, gents? Welcome to
the show. Welcome to the big show. Glad
to have you here. Dude, I got to be
honest, I'm a little bit nervous having
the conversation because you drop some
stuff, man. Man, you got you you you've
you're you're I got to think your
story's going to be relatable to a lot
of dudes. Where do you want to start
with it?
Man, I'll start Yeah, we can start right
there if you want.
>> So, actually, before we do that, you
heard Keith and Johnny talking about
anger and anxious and time. I saw you
nodding there, family, and dads, and so
forth. Any relatability there about
about those things we were talking
before we brought you in?
Man, anger and time? Yeah. Yes.
>> Yeah. So, I think, you know, it's when
when it comes to men, right? I mean, I
think it's safe to say, man, I I'm in
this camp, too. I think one of the most
most reoccurring motion emotions that we
feel as men is anger. But, you know,
here here's the truth about anger, man.
Yeah. And I didn't say Anchorman. I said
anger man.
It's good. Well, But, we're fine. I'm
Yeah. Here's the truth, you know, you
know, anger is a is a secondary emotion.
You know, so we always feel something
first, whether it's fear, whether it's
sadness, whether it's overwhelm,
stressed out, whatever that is, and that
usually shows up as anger. So, like, a
lot of people I think
think that a lot of men out there are
very angry people, right? Very angry
human beings. But, if you really peel
back that onion layer, it's it's usually
not anger that's that first culprit.
It's it's it's really all about, you
know, what am I feeling before I get
angry. So, I want to give that
understanding out there first.
>> Bunch of other ones, yeah. Although, I
got to say, brother,
I'm going to have to categorize myself
as not most men, and I'm going to
contribute this to my
my father who is my my non-blood dad,
and he would literally when we met when
I was like seven. And he said to me, he
said, "Laddy," he said,
"I'm I mean, I only met him once. The
second time I met him, he was basically
talking about being my stepdad."
And anyway, he said, "Look," he goes, "I
just want you to understand. You're
going to see me mad about as many thumbs
as you have on your hands." And I was
like, "Two?" And he's like, "Maybe." And
I I never I I can't remember
he died when I was 21.
I never We're talking 14 years. Never
saw him mad.
That's crazy, man. And it was really
hard. I mean, it it's it is so difficult
to get me mad. I mean, and at my age
now, I I don't give anybody the power to
make me mad. But Larry, how about the
awareness of John's stepfather in that
moment, right? Like and we're talking
like we're not talking I'm suspecting
Johnny we're not talking about a man in
in the in 2026 with some emotional
awareness. We're talking back in the
60s, 70s, Larry. And he says to his 60s,
I wasn't even born yet, weirdo. Oh,
yeah, sorry. Yeah, SO
YEAH, SO WE'RE TALKING about a man who's
talking to his stepson and and having
that awareness. That that's pretty
fascinating, Larry, is it not? I want to
I mean, I John, I'm so sorry your your
your your stepdad, you know, obviously
dad but not blood related dad passed
away at such a young age. But man, I
want to I would love to hang out with
that guy.
You know,
man, I've I've been doing this mission
He had
graduated MIT in 3 years.
He's a chemical engineer, created his
own chemical plant. He sold he's a you
know, he ended up selling it
unfortunately right before he got
cancer. But yeah, he was a
he was a huge piece of who I am for sure
because it's like the
my my dad, my blood dad who made me, he
was I got that just [ __ ] diving
headfirst from him, right? And the the
the flip side of have the okay, diving
headfirst, you could really [ __ ] up, but
you're not going to
you're you're not going to display this
[ __ ] up with anger. You're going to stay
calm. And it's pretty [ __ ]
interesting mix that I got, you know.
Yeah, man. I I can only imagine. And I
do have a question about the chemical
plant. Can I ask a question about that?
Okay, so I've seen the Incredible Hulk
and I'm looking at you.
And I'm I'm wondering did he throw you
in like one of those one of those, you
know, things that he went into and then
all of a sudden like John came out just
like bam.
Funny enough, he he did not understand
my my love for lifting weights. Cuz he
was he was so, you know, like book
oriented. You know, he he spent his time
the time that I spent in the gym as a
young boy, he spent time reading type
stuff, you know. But he was so patient
with you, John. He was so and you talked
with his patience with you, right?
You've talked about the way he treated
with you.
Well, I think it would have even more
so. He was like, you know, when you're a
kid, you're like, well, what happens if
what why don't we just take all the
money and split it up so everybody
doesn't have to go have a job? And he'd
say, okay, well, that's a good question,
but what happens if one guy that gets
his share of the money decides he
doesn't want to do what he needs to do
to hold up his end of the bargain. So,
he would just, you know, he wouldn't
just a normal Oh, that wouldn't work,
you know, kind of dust you off. He would
take he would take me with his silly
little questions as a kid
and present a question back to me to get
me thinking.
You know, so he was really he was he was
he was a wise dude, for sure. Yeah. It's
awesome man.
>> John Keith and Larry this morning on
Mornings with the Larry with Keith John
and friends. Hey Larry, take take us to
that moment. You're with your 3-year-old
son.
You lose your temper.
Your son puts his hands up. When I read
that, man, I just I I got to be honest,
I clenched because I I've been there. I
I've been I've been the person on both
sides of that situation. I'll be I'm
being vulnerable with you right now.
And your son put his hands up and not to
hit back, but to protect himself. Ish.
What happened in your body in that
second? Because that moment, Larry,
that's not just a parenting story.
That's the origin story of everything
you have built, which frankly brought
you on this show today. Talk about that
moment.
Yeah, man. Worst moment probably I've
ever had as a dad.
>> I can relate, brother. I thank you for
sharing that. I I relate. I'm with you
there.
Yeah, definitely worst time I've ever
had as a dad and I'll tell you you know
when I first got married you know not
not only I mean you guys heard about my
my own biological father. Yeah. And but
there there were several you know my mom
was married a total three times and
there were several men in between you
know in between there and every guy was
the same guy just a heavy drinker just
an abuser just just heavy hands heavy
with what they would say emotionally so
like when I first got married man I was
like you know what I'm going to make
myself three promises number one I'm
going to be a good husband.
Number two
I'm going to be a good dad and number
three I'm never going to hit my kids out
of anger cuz I was hit a lot and then
what happened was on that horrible night
my son was actually four at the time is
we were getting ready to move and I was
I was packing up his playroom and I was
in a horrible head space I was in sales
at the time I lost my biggest customer
that day which was going to impact our
income by about 40% thought I was going
to lose my job my wife was a
stay-at-home mom my head was a mess.
Packing up all of his stuff stressed out
about moving three hours of work my son
comes down four years old and I look at
him and I said hey buddy I said do me a
favor dad just worked three hours to
pack all this up I was like please don't
get any toys out of the boxes and here's
some toys right here that you can play
with and I'll be back in 30 minutes dad
is just going to take a break and you
know what I look back on that now and
I'm like what in the world was I even
thinking like that's like somebody's
starving and going
>> Telling an alcoholic not to have a drink
when it's the drink when the [ __ ]
bottle's on the table.
Exactly so it's like yeah it's exactly
like that you know I always say it's
like going to a buffet and you've been
fasting for 21 days be like look at the
food but don't eat it you know.
And so I come down and what do you think
happens he got out tons of toys made a
huge mess
and I like just turned him around and I
just reacted and I swatted him on the
butt and I spanked him and as soon as I
did that I was like oh and then he
here's the thing man here's the dark
part he he fell
and I was like oh my god like what did I
just do?" And he he fell like face
first. He didn't hurt himself when he
fell. He just kind of tumbled over. But
then he like rolled over on his back and
I like went to go pick him up. I was
like, "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry." And he
literally just went like this. Like,
"Please don't like the look on his face
was just fear." And I was like,
"What in the world did I just do?" And I
pick him up and I'm holding him. He's
crying. You know, I I bring him
upstairs, put him to bed. And I And that
was it, man. That was the line in the
sand for me. I was like, "No more. No
more. I cannot do this this way." And I
started thinking about every single
thing in my life that I was somewhat
good at. At the time I you know, I was
in fitness, martial arts. I was I was
pretty good at my sales job. And I
started looking at those things and I
was like, "What's the common
denominator? Why am I pretty good at
these things, but I suck at this?" And
it's because
I hadn't learned anything. And I hadn't
invested any time, any resources, no
reading of any books, no nothing about
being a parent, being a husband. And I
was like, "What if I just learn
something every day?" And when I first
started Dad Edge, and I'll finish with
this, never did this for a following.
Never did this for like clicks or
anything like that. I'm I'm talking like
this was 2012. So this is like a long
time ago. Yeah. I just started a
Facebook page and I was just like,
"I'm just going to learn something new
every day and I'm just going to post it
here for my own record. Not for clicks,
not for anything, just for me." And that
page grew to 120,000
people. And I was like, "Why are these
people following me? Like I'm an idiot.
I'm a [ __ ] I'm like I'm putting all my
stuff out here and like all these
mistakes I'm making. And but these
people were just like really really
engaging in it. But that was that was
the catalyst, man.
Good for you, Larry. Dude, that's so So
so I I I I'll share with both you. I I
had a similar moment. I I remember like
it was [ __ ] yesterday, Larry. We were
in the garage. Carter was coming out of
the house and he's hearing a lifting.
And he was running late, Johnny. He's
running late. Trying to get him to
school and I was on the bottom of the
stairs. I remember like it was He was on
the top of the stairs and Larry Johnny,
I just [ __ ] freaked out.
I just blew a fuse, freaked out, got He
was crying, upset and and I was about to
[ __ ] smack him on the ass, Larry.
I drove him to school that day. That
rest of the day, I wouldn't [ __ ] look
to my own mirror and I said to myself,
"What the [ __ ] are you doing, man?"
And I never did That never happened
again.
Ever. Because I did not like my
behavior. I did not like my moment and I
did not like the look on his face and
the tears in his eyes when I when he was
like like almost like saying to me,
"What the [ __ ] you doing?" And I I I So,
Larry, when you told that story, I can
really completely relate to that.
Well, as as I kind of join in the
sharing so
what I've what I cuz I've actually We've
all had these moments.
>> Yes. Yeah. [ __ ] if you if you say as a
parent there's not a moment you wish you
can't take back. Some are going to be
bigger than others, for sure. But, my
middle daughter, man, she was a I've
done it to all of them, but I mean my
middle daughter was was the most
friction. She was just just just like me
and there's
Anyway, so long story there's a there
was a few times where I just [ __ ]
acted out of character, you know, and
and it was triggered by something that
she did, but something that should not
have triggered me that way and I was
like way too hard on her.
And and it wasn't like I was, you know,
anyway, it was way out of character. So,
I went back to her and I said, "Hey,
kiddo."
And I didn't person.
I said, "Do you remember this time?" And
the first one I talked about, she was
probably
I don't know, 10. And I described it. We
were here, we were in our gym, this
happened. And on the way home, once we
got in in private, you know, I just, you
know, kind of let you have it on what
was going on. And I just got to say,
whether you remember this or not, I said
I I I'm really sorry. You didn't deserve
that." And she goes, "Daddy." She goes,
"It's okay. I don't remember." Yeah. It
must not have been as bad as you
thought, but it and it was it was it was
obviously for her, but it was for me,
too. It was [ __ ] cleansing cuz I
needed to let that [ __ ] I had been
harboring how I behaved in that moment
for [ __ ] years. It was like, "God
damn it, I need to get this out." More
importantly, I need her to know that I
recognize that that was not
the dad that she knows and I I needed to
apologize. It was really [ __ ]
pretty empowering. And then and I did
There was probably three or four of
those that I did over the course of
probably a year or so. It's interesting
what you said, Johnny, cuz I haven't I
haven't had that conversation with
Carter and I feel like I need to. Even
for myself, I suspect he's not going to
remember. Probably not, but it's it's
for you and what When she said she
didn't remember, I was like, "Fucking
Inside I'm thinking, 'Thank you,
>> Yeah. So, then, Larry, your son, have
you had that conversation with your son?
Oh, man, many times. And if I showed you
a picture of him right now, he's like
he's 18 now and he's like a freaking
specimen. He was the He's like, "Dad, do
you remember when you were You're lucky
I didn't kick your ass right now." Oh,
dude, yeah, no kidding. Like it it's
funny, man, because like he
he's the center for his varsity football
team. He's been on on the offensive line
for for 10 years or all through high
school, but But yeah, we talk very
openly about it. Like he's attended I
mean, I've spoken on stage several
times. This is the story that I always
tell. At least four or five times he has
been in the audience and he has heard
this over and over again. Yeah. We've
even talked about it on the podcast. We
talk about it very very openly. And it's
funny, man. He's like, "Dad." And it's
kind of the same thing. He's like, "I
don't remember it and I forgive you."
And you know, nothing like that has ever
happened since. Yeah. But yeah, we talk
very openly about it, very authentically
about it. We don't hide it at all.
That's beautiful. Yeah, man. Married?
Oh, yeah, man. Married to my college
sweetheart. We've been married for 23
years this year. We've been together for
30 years. Wow, 30 years married, Johnny,
Four kids, Four boys, right? How old are
you, brother? Put that in context.
>> Yeah, I know. I was going to cuz when
you said 18-year-old Johnny, I was like,
"What the [ __ ] you 20? Like, what do
you have a kid when you were two?" Like,
you look about 30. How How old do you
think I am? You look about 35, 38. I
appreciate that, man. I'll be 51 in 3
months. What?
No, you got to Hold on, you got a full
head of hair under that hat, too. I got
a full head of hair. Hold the horses
here, Kai. Hold the horses. You Johnny,
something's going on here. You're You're
51? I'll be 51 in July.
Dude, you got good lighting like me and
Anderson. I So, we're both 54, man.
Welcome to the club. [ __ ] I honestly
thought when you said you had an
18-year-old son, I'm like, "How the [ __ ]
old is this guy?" I thought you were
about 38, seriously. Oh, man, I love
you. I love you. Thank you so much.
Yeah, I would not I would have been in
the wrong I would have been not even in
the not even close to 50s. I would have
been I would have been in the
40s, most likely early 40s.
You know, I I would have been I could
have even gone to the late 30s, for
sure. Hold on, hold on, Johnny. I can't
see his head. It's big. It's growing.
Hagner, your head's growing right now,
man. You got to I just want to hug you
guys. Well, see, I thought for sure like
we have this other guest on this he
joins on Friday. He's a He's a
truly a doctor, a professor, I should
say.
As a [ __ ] professor who I can't
remember what college he teaches at. He
comes on and he says that his age and we
were kind of surprised and I'm like and
he had a hat on for
Yes. Take the hat off cuz usually
there's then the hat will reveal, but
rather the hat trick didn't work with
you.
Well, yeah, Petro's in the comments. He
goes, Petro pulled his hat off and I was
like, "Okay, I see it now." Well, I
mean, seriously, I think maybe he looks
like 35.5. It's funny how Anderson Petro
picks half because he's not going to go
to 40. Yeah, Petro thinks he looks 35.5.
I love it. I actually love it. He So,
you got You got four boys. You must look
at your boys
and as a dad
I'm I'm I'm going to make some
I'm going to suspect look at your dad
your boys with pride knowing that you
set them up hopefully on a better path
than you have been on. You shared with
your experience being raised by
different fathers and perhaps a
tumultuous life life growing up.
I'm suspecting your boys have a pretty
solid foundation. As a dad you must look
at them with pride.
I really do and
you know there there's a lot of play at
that man. I
You know I I'm a pretty humble dude. You
know I always feel like I can't take
credit for that because I always say man
your dad not only screwed up so many
times he screws up every single day but
yeah I've got a 20 year old 18 year old
12 year old 10 year old and I'll tell
you like I'm looking at my young men my
two my two older boys and they're just
really really freaking good human beings
man. Like my my 20 year old is just so
so empathetic so amazing. He's he's
going into firefighting. Yeah. And he is
built for that. He is he meets people
where they're where they're at but he's
so calm in chaos which is unbelievable
to me. Yeah. My 18 year old like I said
he he looks like a special forces like
he could kill you and he he would if he
got pissed off enough but he
he is like the most loving most loyal
just just incredible human being. He's
had the same girlfriend now for four
years and just an unbelievable and I
tell these kids all the time I was like
you men
are so much further along and so much
better than I was back then and who I am
even today. Like I learn from you guys.
Now and that that is the Oscar truth.
Yeah. Yeah. Hey Johnny you You got to
fully you got to give yourself some
credit because there's no question
there's nature and there's nurture but
what you're describing is nurture. Yeah.
Yeah. Hey Larry we had you for 30. Do
you got to rock and roll do you want to
stick around for lunch with myself and
Johnny? I can stick around for a little
bit if you want. I'd love that.
>> good. Absolutely yeah. So I cuz I got so
John when we come back we'll get into
this one. Larry John always talks never
let a good tragedy you know good try
never let a tragedy what's the Johnny
what You're really good at butchering
these [ __ ] really smooth statements.
Please, go ahead. Never Never let a good
tragedy go to waste.
Well, the tragedy
for Larry was unfortunately the way you
were raised when you think about it. And
you had a moment, dude, where you're
like, "I'm not letting this [ __ ]
happen ever again." And when I hear you
talk about your boys, and maybe you
don't realize this as we reset hour two,
but when you talk about your boys, it
goes back to that moment where you said,
"I got to [ __ ] learn how to be a
dad."
Like you think about that. Had you not
made that decision, I need to learn how
to be a dad. And Keith and John talk
about all the time. We're not taught
when we're raised how to be dad or how
to pick our partners. The two biggest
decisions in life are not raised to how
to learn that. And you had a moment
where you're like, "I got to [ __ ]
figure this out." Now, listen to you
talk about your boys today, Larry,
seriously.
Thank you, man. You know, I I First of
all, I want to comment on that. Never
let a good tragedy go to waste. I I've
never heard that, John, but I got to
tell you, man, that is something that I
think every single person in your
audience needs to hear because I think
>> yeah, brother. A lot of times, man, you
know, we you know, we we let a tragedy
just decimate us, right? But man,
there's always always always learning in
in in the storm, you know? And And it's
if we can take some of those lessons and
learn and just pivot, man, that's that's
what life's all about, man.
Well, you know, in a in
a lot of times this stuff we to to a
certain extent we bring ourselves. When
I say that, I mean we we all want more.
We want this. We want all that. We We
want these this better life. Well, what
you're asking for is life to [ __ ]
kick you in the nuts because life's not
going to get easier. You got to get
better. So, life's going to put the
obstacle in front of you. If you can
overcome that obstacle, you become a
better version of yourself, which means
that's life That's how life gets easier.
Life didn't change. You got better. And
if people can reverse the table and see
when when you're asking for more, brace
yourself cuz here comes the [ __ ]
Oh, yeah. Big time, man.